On Egos, Kindness, and Leadership

Good ideas get shut down by bad bosses. Wonderful ideas get shut down by terrible bosses. Awesome ideas get shut down by awful bosses.

What we all need is a kind boss.

Let that sink in for just a little bit.

A couple of years ago, I attended management training by Boris Joaquin, a leading life coach. The essence of that one-day training was to orient employees, either in supervisory or managerial roles, to the necessary tools for managing people. It was Boris’ hope to instill the appropriate character, attitude, perspective, and mindset in potential leaders. 

It is both a burden and a blessing to be a leader, says the life coach. You get to hear the claps and boos, the putdowns and the compliments, but hey—these come with the territory. So stop playing the victim, stop whining, and go work. ‘Act like a leader,’ he said.

DESCRIBE YOUR BOSS 

Boris Joaquin asked us to describe the good boss and the worst boss, and one team’s list perfectly summed up the whole group’s thoughts:

GOOD BOSS

• ‘Has your back’
• A decision maker
• A team player
• Acknowledges accomplishments
• Delegates responsibility
• Empowers peoples
• Encourages people
• Fair and just
• Highly competent
• Provides (good) critique
• Satisfies and compensates
• Selfless

WORST BOSS

• A faultfinder
• A one-man team
• Blames team
• Credit-grabber
• Has a favorite 
• Incompetent
• Indecisive
• Swears 
• Temperamental

Basically, a good boss is nice and competent while the worst boss is rude and incompetent. It should be an easy task to be a nice boss, and employees will be happy every single day and be productive under them, right? 

Employees actually need a leader.

A Psychology Today article, states that being nice should not be confused with being kind, and a kind leader may not always be nice. A kind leader will praise your good work but expects you to understand his expectations. He will pay attention to the team’s morale level but he holds each one accountable. He will focus on solving problems rather than blaming but he will point things out to you.

On the other hand, a rude and incompetent leader can drive away a good employee. 

BOSS OR LEADER

Lee Colan writes down the differences between a boss and a leader:

‘A boss knows it all; a leader is always learning. A boss gives answers; a leader seeks solutions. A boss talks more than listen; a leader listens more than talks. A boss directs; a leader coaches. A boss criticizes; a leader encourages. A boss identifies weaknesses; a leader identifies natural gifts. A boss is all about ‘me’; a leader is all about ‘we’. A boss places blame; a leader takes accountability. A boss protects her ego; a leader reveals her vulnerability. A boss demands results; a leader inspires performance.’

Judging from Colan’s list, an ocean separates a leader from a boss, and employees know.  They respond fairly well to good leaders. A boss may have some good moments with employees but are unable to keep the momentum of being good especially when relevant ideas from employees hug the spotlight.  

Good ideas get shut down by bad bosses. Wonderful ideas get shut down by terrible bosses. Awesome ideas get shut down by awful bosses.

Ideas in the office often get shut down because a boss feels that he might not get any credit for them at all. He feels that good ideas from his people diminish his stature. Egos are at work here and this spells doom for employees. An environment created by a boss is fragile and is never healthy. 

At this point let us call in a leader who, according to Colan, will seek solutions and inspire performance from each employee. A continuously learning individual, the leader encourages employees to share ideas and adds his own to give life to employees’ ideas.

A quote credited to Oleg Vishnepolsky goes: “Because no matter how smart a leader is, they may not have all the facts, all the experiences, and all of the backgrounds in their own heads.” Leaders need employees to rise, thrive, and succeed. In the process, leaders empower employees, who later on evolve into better leaders. 

CREATE MORE LEADERS

‘I never understood why so many companies try to hire smart people and then treat them like they are stupid—by micromanaging them, by not listening to them, by not respecting their opinions,’ Vishnepolsky says. 

Apologies but stupid, lame employees are a burden to any company. Smart people who are treated foolishly by irresponsible bosses are also a burden. They will leave the company or be reduced to lame employees. Whose fault is that then? Whose responsibility is it to teach them to grow—or evolve—into someone greater than they previously were? 

Understandably, leaders should create more leaders. This is the correct response to any situation in a company. A boss is all about egos. A kind leader is crucial in any company. Remember that when molding supervisors and managers. 

Note: This article was previously published in our printed issue of The Corporate, Guide and Style for Professionals Magazine.