Surviving a Stressful Boss

If you are lucky—if you are very, very lucky—your work-life is perfect. You have your dream job. Your colleagues are all wonderful and helpful. Best of all, you have the ideal boss—smart, supportive, kind, and a great mentor.

On the other hand, you may feel that you work for Miranda Priestley from the Devil Wears Prada movie. You dread the thought of her even looking in your direction though you do want to get her recognition.

Seriously, when you spend a third of your day at the office, you hope that it will be smooth and productive. When it does not, especially if it is because of the boss, it probably feels like you are in hell some days if not every day.

The Temperamental Boss

Do you have the kind of boss who makes you feel like a typhoon has hit the office? His moods make it uncomfortable for you to work and you never know if he is angry because you did something wrong or just grumpy because he’s having a bad day.

What do you do? It helps to have a good relationship with the boss. They are more likely to express themselves with you in a way you can understand and accept. They are less likely to be moody if they feel they have staff that they can rely on and who understands them.

The Great Extender (Overtime)

Do you have a boss who always comes up with something that MUST be done at the end of the day? Somehow, there always seems to be a task that HAS to be finished TODAY but is given to you minutes before the end of the workday.

I once had a boss who loved to call meetings at the last minute at the end of the day. To be precise, he loved to call for a meeting at 5:59, usually on Fridays. (Boss, it is the weekend.) He would walk into our office just as we had all stood up with our bags, ready to go. He wanted the entire team present to come up with strategies for the new product. Sadly, he never accepted any of the ideas we proposed. So we often spent the hour he kept us just praying he would get over the torture and let us go.

It got to the point where we got creative. We would find ways to get out of the office without being seen by the boss. We got really good at checking where he was as the hour approached. We also knew exactly how slow our elevator was and how fast we had to run down the stairs to make a clean getaway.

How should you respond? Good communication with this boss is important if you want to minimize having sudden overtime situations. While flexibility is important, letting your boss know that there are some limitations to overtime that you can do. Most of the time, they can understand if their staff say they cannot extend work due to other commitments as long as they are efficient on a daily basis. Identify the urgency and prioritize.

Clairvoyant Required

Have you ever had a boss who seemed easygoing when you first met but becomes harder to please over time? Have you ever felt like you do what he asks but he says you did not do it right? Have you ever thought why does he expect you to be a mind reader?

I had a boss like this one. He liked to give the bare minimum of instructions but he expected us to know exactly what he had in mind. One thing I learned was to ask questions and write down his answers. The boss didn’t mind if we asked once or twice. But by the third time, he would be annoyed (as most people would be).

What should you do? Good communication and knowing the boss’ expectations clearly are critical to success in working with such a boss. You can’t deliver what you don’t know and guessing will only get you so far. So ask questions and make sure to make notes.

The Perfectionist

Everybody wants to do a great job, even the boss. It can be tough though when the expectation is so high all the time. If it is not perfect, do it again. Hitting the target is good but if it is not a bull’s-eye, you are just okay. Even when you do well, the only comment you get is you can do better.

While this type of boss may only have the best of intentions, the daily challenge of working for a perfectionist is not for everyone. Those who are competitive by nature may regard working for this boss as a challenge, but for many, it can be frustrating.

A key to working for this kind of boss is to understand the expectations clearly. Be clear on the requirements and work toward meeting them.

The Critic

It is tough to work for someone who is never satisfied with your work. Having a boss who seems to always find something wrong with you can create a stressful environment. A good question to ask yourself is: Is he right?

It is easy for us to blame the boss when he criticizes but if the boss is always right, then there is definitely room for improvement. On the other hand, if the boss just finds fault where there isn’t any, then you may need to think hard about what you want to do next if you cannot continue working with him or her.

At the end of the day, no matter how difficult the boss is, it is still up to us to decide how we can manage the stress. Learning to work with the boss is one type of response. Meeting and rising above the expectation is another. If you just want to live with the stress, then find great ways to de-stress every single day. 

Note: This article was previously published in our printed issue of The Corporate Magazine, Guide and Style for Professionals.