Parenting in the Digital Age, Keeping Your Child Safe Online

We have to admit that parenting has taken an additional course with the advent of technology, specifically, the online world that our children now face. I look at it as a two-edged sword but a reality that we need to work with.

The internet has definitely made the world smaller. It has given us access to people, data, information, and practically anything, if not, everything. The range of information is from that which is a help to something that could be a threat to own safety or to others. Aside from this, access is open to all, across all ages, so long as they have the gadget and internet connection. 

It is therefore essential that internet safety is established among children… and this can be best managed and monitored by parents. It does not, however, mean that parents should shield their children from the “online” worldsince there are benefits that can be derived from it. We can not do away with it. Thus, keeping internet access away from the children is not a very “responsible parenting practice” to do.

Given this, it is imperative to have some helpful guides and tips in keeping our children safe in this digital age. These are practical points that aim to protect children, and at the same time maximize internet use as a learning tool:

Keep gadgets with internet access where adults are around. Make sure that an adult is present every once in a while when children use them. Aside from this, establishing rules, such as time of use or set password is oriented. For example, allowing the timed use of gadgets can be introduced. I usually allow my daughter to use the gadget for 30 minutes at once. I empower her by allowing her to set the timer and stop when the timer ends. For older children, limiting internet use may also come in the form of assigning them chores in between internet usage. It will have to be dependent on the competency of the child. It is important to give alternative activities, instead of just telling them to stop using the gadget. Another way of having your presence “felt” is to set parental controls. There are software/programs which are available that allow you to filter the sites that your child can have access to. Explore these but make sure that your child is also aware of these restrictions. I would like to emphasize that communicating this information would be key for transparency for both parties.

Have your own “Internet Education,” session with your children. This would be dependent on the kind of rules that you uphold as a parent. If you do not allow your child to have their own social network accounts, such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or Instagram, make sure that you explain to them appropriately. If you do allow them, establish rules about what particular information they are allowed to post. Specifically, if there are posts that show an indication of concern, or you are not comfortable with, address them to them in person or through a private conversation. DO NOT post in the comments section for all to see.  All these should be coupled with an age-appropriate explanation of why such restrictions are being done.

Keep an eye on your child’s activity on the Internet, or Supervise when needed. This would include looking at the sites your child has visited. This is possible by looking at the “history” of the sites which were visited. Instruct your child to ask an adult if they are “unsure” of a website. For example, my daughter would ask me if she is allowed to watch a particular video she chanced upon on Youtube. My response to her would be, “Does it teach you good things?” This way, she is also taught about the judgment of things that would be helpful or not to her. This can also encourage openness as our children will be given the idea to consult us when things are ambiguous to them. Nevertheless, monitoring does not have to mean that you hover over your child’s every internet activity. It just would require you to set appropriate ground rules so that your child is guided.

Especially for tweeners and teenagers, warn them about the dangers of in-person meetings with online friends. It is important to set this rule before allowing them to have their own social media accounts. Explain the dangers of meeting people from online sites. Give strict instructions that you are informed about agreeing to meet someone online. Permission must be given before such a meet-up can happen. To get a better view of the online world that your child is or may immerse in, it would be good to have your own social networking account. Parents would have a better understanding of their children’s “internet world” by exploring this firsthand. This way, they would best know how to guide and address concerns that social media could bring to their children. 

Enjoy an “online time” with your children. This is a way to show your children that you may also connect with them through the internet. It is one way to experience the benefits of online communication. This should not, however, take the place of the personal communication that a parent must establish with his/her child. 

Another way of leveraging this platform is to explore answers to questions together with your child. This can be done by looking for appropriate answers to homework or project. This way, you would show your child that the internet could also offer this benefit, aside from gaining friends online. The internet should be considered an added resource. However, it must be remembered that responsible parenting involves looking at this wide array of resources and learning (which can be done together with your child/children) to thresh out those that are reliable and credible from those that are not. Again, this requires effort because we have to do our own “research” as well. 

Internet safety is part of the parenting responsibilities that parents have to add to our list. It is therefore important that parents are also aware of the potential concerns and issues that arise from such. If your children approach you with these issues, respond appropriately. First, be thankful that they went to you, and not someone else. Deal with it calmly. That will be a strong basis for your child how to respond to similar situations in the future. The advent of these alternative ways to communicate should not be taken as a disadvantage. Consider it an additional method to do so. Embracing these new trends is a good parenting practice in this digital age.

Note: This article was previously published in the printed issue of The Corporate, Guide and Style for Professionals Magazine.